how to be "present"?
presence as a sensual experience
First, I want to start off with a mental health check in. It’s the end of January…..we made it.
How are you doing?
January was beautiful for me but also filled with moments that felt so incomplete, lacking fullness where I didn’t want to be present. I wonder why and what I thought I’d accomplish being transported somewhere else.
While one week would be fun and fast, the next week would be slow forcing me to feel every single thing both big and small.
Someone asked me
“How to be more present?”
a couple of weeks ago
I wanted to answer it immediately but I knew that life would answer the question for me.
Our perception on what presence means is based on a mental concept that we can’t seem to grasp because the mind isn’t meant to grasp everything.
Some wisdom is solely for the body.
We aren’t just thinking people we are feeling people.
We feel at the same speed that we think.
Feelings are overshadowed by thoughts.
Thoughts merge into feelings.
You can’t think your way into the present moment.
Presence is giving the mind a break to be with the body.It is the culmination of all the senses at work.
The projection of our world is made complete in what we see, feel, taste, touch, and hear.
Practicing presence is our right to sensuality.
It is noticing that you feel off and turning on a song you like.
It is cooking a meal to be with yourself instead of going out to buy food.
It is noticing what you see.
It is being moved by what you hear.
It is involving yourself in touch a little bit longer than you normally would.
It is tasting.
“Think about what feels good to your sense of touch,” “What do you like to smell? What tastes good to you? What music or other sounds do you like to listen to? What do you like to look at? Mindfulness is the crux of it. It’s about noticing what’s happening with your senses and having fun in your body.” -Rosara Torrisi, PhD
From my heart to yours, I have something for you.
because being present is hard when your mind is filled with a thousand thoughts.
This week *only* I’m offering donation based sound healing and meditation sessions. My love for sound and meditation has facilitated a sense of wellbeing within me. As a meditation teacher, I want to extend that same feeling to you in the best way I can.
Contact me on instagram at tianainflow
if social media isn’t your thing email me inflowwithtiana@gmail.com include in the subject line “donation based session”
Most of our needs to be present doesn’t stem from the times we’re out having fun laughing our asses off or when we’re engulfed in something we love. In these times, we are so present we don’t even notice.
The question for presence rises in discomfort. It’s our way of saying “This doesn’t feel good to me right, how can I make it okay”?
In addressing our needs on learning to let go, maybe it can help us understand presence a little more.
“Letting go involves being aware of a feeing, letting it come up, stay with it, and letting it run it’s course without wanting to make it different or do anything about it. It means simply to let the feeling be there and to focus on letting out the energy behind it. The first step is to allow yourself to have the feeling without resisting it, venting it, fearing it, condemning it, or moralizing about it. It means to drop judgement and to see that it is just a feeling. The technique is to be with the feeling and surrender to all efforts to modify it in anyway. Let go of wanting to resist the feelings. It is resistance that keeps the feeling going.” - David R. Hawkins
As much as we want to only associate presence with good feelings, sometime presence calls upon us to notice the discomfort as well. It wants to see what we can do with what we’re being served. Will you resist it? will you fear it? will you judge it?
“How I can be present when the present doesn’t feel like enough?
Naturally we’re fixers. We want to find ways to pick ourselves up again, often times, before we are ready.
Learn to sit with things. Learn to be in the experience through your senses because if you aren’t here then where are you going?
Hearing has been my favorite sense to play with in times I notice that I’m not as present as I want to be. I put my earbuds in, I turn up the music very loud and I just dance. I imagine that stagnant energy is falling off me with each movement. I let the sound and the rhythm of my body carry me into presence.
because of that I found new genres of music that I enjoy this month.
and when I don’t want to hear anything
I like to cook , I love gathering ingredients and seeing all the colors. I love to smell the aromas of my meal as the smell floats through the room.
When things are not okay, I get out of my own way, and I figure out what sensory experience I need at the moment and sometimes that’s nothings.
nothing works too, i’m talking looking up at the ceiling, sitting in your car just breathing.
It’s only January and I have been enamored by the waves of life. To know that every month will be honored by these cycles of fullness and emptying is so fascinating to me.
To feel uprooted and find our need for presence again.
Sometimes I miss out on the blessings of these moments because I resist what’s happening, I fight it so hard that I get emotional and feel easily shaken. Other times, I am present diligently. I show up for myself and what the moment calls for.
Reflection questions:
What do you enjoy listening to?
What’s your favorite taste?
What do your eyes find most fascinating ?
What feels good to touch?
What feelings do you avoid?
What feelings do you enjoy feeling?
What does presence mean to you? How can you start being present for yourself today?
greatly enlightening!